Part One of Kingdom Strategies for Generational Partnerships: Engaging in Effectual Spiritual Warfare
Grandgrams #13, Written by Beth Sheldon
As a Kingdom-minded Grandma, one thing I am absolutely convinced of is this: True Kingdom revelation brings transformation to our generation that impacts the rising generations, even those yet to be born! I can imagine the conversations going on in the heads, hearts, and homes of aging parents questioning their God-breathed added purpose for their new role as grandparents. Some of the thoughts happening in our grandparent headspace might often sound like something similar to these:
“Do my children value or even care about what my role is as a grandparent in our family?”
“Do my children see what I would love to give our grandchildren beyond free babysitting service?”
“Why does it feel like our children don’t enjoy spending time with us anymore?”
“Am I someone our children would seek out when looking for godly wisdom or counsel?”
“Can what I’ve been through offer meaningful and relevant encouragement to my children and grandchildren?”
“Are they too busy to pursue meaningful connection with me?”
“Will my life be over here on earth before I get the chance to see the enduring family legacy I long for being realized?”
“Have I been approachable or just made it harder for my children to speak openly with me about what is on their hearts?”
You get the idea. So many thoughts needing to be taken captive to the obedience of Christ. And why is this so? Let’s look at what it says in the Apostle Paul’s second letter to the church in Corinth:
“For although we live in the natural realm, we don’t wage a military campaign employing human weapons, using manipulation to achieve our aims. Instead, our spiritual weapons are energized with divine power to effectively dismantle the defenses behind which people hide. We can demolish every deceptive fantasy that opposes God and break through every arrogant attitude that is raised up in defiance of the true knowledge of God. We capture, like prisoners of war, every thought and insist that it bow in obedience to the Anointed One.”
2 Corinthians 10:3-5 TPT
What thoughts are sneaking in that oppose God’s true knowledge regarding our grandparenting purpose and influence? What defenses are we hiding behind that create deceptive fantasies that cause us to elevate these thoughts above God’s truth for us as grandparents? What enemy arguments are we agreeing with that disempower us from our purpose as grandparents because of our agreement with them?
Our warfare as grandparents isn’t against our own flesh and blood. We will never be able to use human weapons to win the spiritual war we are in for our families. Human strategies can’t dismantle the principalities and powers raging against us, our children, and our grandchildren. It is only through divine strategies that we dismantle the defenses, speculations, and lofty thoughts behind which we try to hide. Pride and manipulation are completely ineffective and unproductive in the winning of this war. God’s word makes it clear that it is “spiritual weapons” that are energized with divine power that empower us to take every thought surrounding our grandparenting journey and our family captive to the obedience of Christ. We’ve been given authority to capture every one of these thoughts, like prisoners of war, and insist that they bow in obedience to Christ Jesus, the Anointed One.
What exactly does that mean? How, as a Kingdom-minded, Holy Spirit-led grandparent, can I take my thoughts captive and insist that they obey Christ? Let’s use one of these possible “grandparent thoughts” mentioned above and see how it plays out as we capture that thought and insist that it bow to the obedience of Christ, or not.
How about this one?- “Have I been approachable or made it harder for my children to speak openly with me about what is on their hearts?” This inner dialogue, in and of itself, is neither good nor evil. It can be a potential launching point for healthy inquiry of God’s Holy Spirit. Or it can be a potentially downward spiral into unhealthy introspection and detrimental agreement with the enemy’s desire to overtake our thoughts and get us to disobey Christ.
Taking this question and allowing it to lead us into a healthy inner dialogue with Holy Spirit could look something like this:
“Holy Spirit, have I been approachable or am I making it harder for my children to speak openly with me about what’s on their hearts? What say You, Lord? I feel like I am getting so defensive on the inside whenever what they bring to me concerning what is on their hearts feels like criticism or ingratitude. I get “huffy” and upset. You see it. I feel anger brewing inside me instead of grace and understanding. I know it seeps out without my ever needing to say another word in my defense. Am I interpreting wrongly?”
Then I wait to see what He says to me. I know His beautiful voice. So full of love and understanding, and so desiring for me to represent His heart well to my children. I tell Him I’m open to whatever His thoughts and truth are concerning this. His voice comes with compassion and clarity, helping me discern rightly my own heart and the true motivations behind my responses toward my children. I hear Him say, “My precious daughter (or son), I know how hard it is to want to be heard and seen. And to want your words to carry weight and value in the hearts of your children. I want you to lean into trusting Me with your heart. Place your expectations in Me as you share with them. Ask Me what I am saying and doing in those crucial conversations. I love your sons and daughters even more than you and I will give you discernment. I promise to fill your mouth with My words as you open it in trusting obedience to what I am speaking. It isn’t about proving your point, or making them see your side, or winning an argument. No, it’s about the peace and wisdom I release as you abide in Me throughout the conversation. Remember, I’ve given you the ministry of reconciliation. I am pleading with them through your lips, to be reconciled to Me, their good Father.”
As He speaks, I know that He is faithful to restore me in my relationships with my sons and daughters to the place He paid for them to be. He goes on to assure me that I can trust Him for the right words, the wisdom, and the grace to discern and govern my human emotions as I allow His Spirit to guide me into all truth concerning my approachability. I keep on waiting on Him and listening.
He continues, “What is broken I paid in full to fix. Where your frailty and pride have made it harder for your children to draw near, I am making a way, through your yielded humility and willingness, for you to be vulnerable and ask forgiveness, to see your relational connection healed, and for your communication restored with your children. You can trust me with your heart as well as theirs. A revelation of My perfect love for each one of you casts out all fear and makes the communication pathways clear to thrive as you let My Holy Spirit lead and guide you into all truth.”
Jesus might say that much, or He might just sit and hold you as you grieve the hurt you feel. He might whisper a simple action for you to take or a revelation of the next step toward restoring healthy communication. He knows just the right responses for each son and every daughter. They will carry the unique imprint of His perfect love upon them, casting out all fear and providing a clear pathway for healthy, loving conversations to flow between us and our children.
On the other hand, what if this question ended up with us NOT taking captive our thoughts to the obedience of Christ? And us NOT using our spiritual weapons of warfare effectively? That scenario could result in something similar to this as we ask ourselves this same question: “Have I been approachable or am I making it harder for my children to speak openly to me about what is on their hearts?”
This thought might be followed by a sullen silence and inner grumbling, coupled with an inner dialogue that might go something like this: “Of course, I’ve been approachable! Nothing BUT approachable! I ALWAYS drop everything that I am doing to run to their every beck and call! I don’t know how they can’t see how much it matters to me to be heard. Their ingratitude and sense of entitlement are repulsive! How could I have raised such ungrateful children? I don’t get it. I’ve done everything in my power to be approachable, and what do I get for my trouble? Just more moaning and groaning about how hard it is to raise kids these days and make ends meet. I’m so tired of this!”
I could go on and on, but you get the idea. Our enemy is more than happy to throw fuel on the fire of our agreement with his lies. He is all too willing to let us carry on until we can no longer discern how approachable we really are or not. Or how hard we are actually making it for them to speak to us openly, honestly, and vulnerably about what is on their hearts. This is not a winning strategy. It never will be. Not ever.
Our Heavenly Father’s strategy for generational partnership looks like an effectual spiritual warfare where we are actively engaging our God-given spiritual weapons to disarm and defeat the real enemy of our families- the Accuser of the Brethren. Our enemy has NO AUTHORITY where our thoughts are taken captive to the obedience of Christ. Generational partnership can only thrive when we are rightly engaged in using effectually our spiritual weapons to successfully dismantle the defenses behind which our enemy desires us to hide. Our spiritual weapons are energized with divine power to tear down speculations and lofty thoughts that exalt themselves above the true knowledge of God. Our gracious Heavenly Father is always ready to reveal His thoughts to us concerning what we are thinking. His thoughts, which are energized with divine power to heal families and restore relationships into a place of abundant fruitfulness, empower us to partner together to craft enduring legacies of love that advance God’s Kingdom here on earth as it is in Heaven through our families.